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Chapter 3 of three-part series by Samantha Pruitt (Chaski Pride Leader)

Read Chapter 1 and Chapter 2 of We Belong Here.

With this final chapter on belonging I decided it was time we all wrote ourselves a love letter. Belonging is personal, revealing and often holds our deep dark secrets….like a love letter would. My intention with this three part series was to help you recalibrate your own true belonging. My hope is that by having a conversation (with each other or within ourselves) we can set free the need for others acceptance and wholeheartedly nurture the roots of self-love. We ALL belong here. -Sam

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A Love Letter to Myself

Dear Me,

Striving to belong and be of value to others has made you do some pretty unreasonable things huh? Unfortunately many of your choices have been high priced things involving self-destruction, relationship busting and your own opportunity squelching. Sure, some of these actions may have to do with your wild human survival instincts- like your need for water, food, shelter and reproduction. Most however have to do with your ego’s need for approval, love and power. OUCH.

Because I love you… I want to warn you that this unhealthy striving to belong can be sneaky and show up just when you feel like you are really connecting and becoming part of something big. There you are ‘getting down with your badass self’ grooving towards something that feels sooooo good when all of a sudden there’s a shift in the energy and your gut responds otherwise. That gut check often triggers anxiety, anger, sadness or just something you can’t put your finger on right? Maybe you second guess that gut feeling or even blow it off and excuse it away just so you can keep on striving? You may tell yourself that if you just can make this ‘thing’ happen you will surely be enough - fit in- one of the gang then right? Sadly I also need to warn you that sometimes while striving to belong even more obvious and dangerous situations can occur, like sexual harassment, bullying or people-power-playing over your personal boundaries.

Ok yes… we all can intellectually say that we must of course then stand up for ourselves in these difficult situations! But we also know that once we do… we no longer belong there. Of course we need to protect ourselves from these toxic environments but we often may battle with the internal voices of insecurity and fear that are just as loud as the urges to be seen, valued and belong. Let us be clear my Love, I am NOT excusing anyone’s behavior and I do NOT tolerate people's mistreatment of others ever. I am speaking with compassion from personal experience, having done this inner battle, and wanting to protect you from the struggle to release the guilt or shame that does not belong to you as you make your way to the exit.

(Feel free to read out loud and play ME/YOU by replacing the words YOU or My Love with your name)

My Love,

You belong(s) to You. There is no one on this entire earth who holds any power or can assign any value over you besides yourself.

My Love, you are always safe with me. When you listen to me, a.k.a. yourself, you will be loved, needed, valued and respected.

My Love no job position, title, or relationship to others defines who you are as a human being nor does it create a value on your purpose in this lifetime.

My Love I need you to know that how you look; the color of your skin- eyes- hair, the size of your body and the clothes you wear have nothing to do with the beauty of your soul. Your grades, how you perform in sports, how many awards and accolades you may receive over the course of your life all mean nothing in terms of how our world needs and appreciates you.

You are not perfect and we like it that way because all of our scars, bruises and F-ups make for a grand adventurous life full of opportunities to grow. You are/is such a unique gift to the Universe and can not be replaced.  

My Love on your search for belonging … you keep asking …. where do I find belong & how can I feel belonging? Luckily those are two of life‘s most important questions that share the exact same answer. In You. No, not in your head or even in your heart- those organs are way too busy dealing with the outside living world!

My Love true belonging is hidden deep under your layers within your soul…  where only YOU can get to. Don’t panic, that does not mean you have to do this life journey alone. There are plenty of beautiful humans with pom-poms in hand, hooting and hollering behind you all the way, but they are not belonging, they are your community. Your belonging doesn’t live with them, it lives inside of you and it never leaves. Longing. Belong. Belonging. You do/does belong and You always will.

Forever You As Yours,

xoxo

— Samantha Pruitt